I have never been superstitious. My Santa was blown away and destroyed by my cousin’s sweater that I was unfortunate enough to see under that very cheap and unrealistic Santa suit he was wearing when I was about 5 years old. Then god disappeared when I asked from him to help others around me, save their life and take care of those helpless children…and yet every single time I could find that one more is gone. And then the horoscope came and went just like a buzz passing by my ear …the black cat…the horseshoe…and so on.
But then , one day, I have discovered the idea of Destiny. For a little while it look vague enough to believe inn, simple to understand… Just blame it all not on an invisible person, not on a thing , but on Destiny. I can actually admit it did help a bit , at my worst , to find an explanation for the bad, for the good…for my stupidity and insecurities. It provided the comfort I needed while being an ignorant and foolish teen, rebelling against the world . It gave me the excuses I was so badly looking for and validated my poor decisions and lack of knowledge and even the lack of interest for anything with some intellectual meaning.
Thou, in time, and with some more will and self education, with books and other things foreign to this new generation these days, I grew out of believing in this nothingness that Destiny seems to be. But the questions remain.
I does seem that some void, some “nothing”, or maybe the universal chaos, has a way to interfere were we are certain that we’ve planned perfectly, were we knew that nothing can change the outcome and yet somehow, something made it change. Something brings the luck we so badly need sometimes, and then it takes it away just as easy. Sometimes our prayers look like they’ve been answered and ,more often than we would like, they seem to be falling on nobody’s ears.
And what that might be? Destiny? Coincidence? Some sort of god..one of the many hindu ones…or maybe the Christian and Muslim one…Jesus, Buddha, Moses, Ra, …maybe some little devil just playing with his tail to draw us in his little circle of evil?
Us humans, we will probably battle these questions for as long as humankind will exist. We can not help it…The need to be cared for and protected somehow and feel special is embedded deep down in the core of our being, therefore we will always wonder who or what takes such a (in my opinion very poor, but for the sake of this post…) good care of us.
An answer that we might never get. My only hope will be to never stop looking for it. Because on the way we might just find out that, no matter how well we plan, no matter how smart we think we are or how well we can live, control and take care of our life, or our future, no matter whom do we want to love and marry or whatever deity we chose to pray to , there will always be something or somebody, that universal chaos, that dark (or white) energy, that unknown constant that makes its way into everything we do and (apparently …or so some people say ) splits everything almost in half. We get good and we get bad…we succeed and we fail, we have white and we have black, happiness and sadness, we are born and we die. Everything just seems to have its exact opposite other thing that somehow balances all we know, and does such a great job at making this short and amazing life interesting and beautiful, exciting and full of surprises.
(just some older images…and don’t be shy…comment ..you can only make it better)
I am tired. I sometimes just wish to sleep well…that kind of deep sleep that let’s you wake up rested, fresh, hungry for a new day… eager to take the morning light that paints the world deep in your soul and be happy. It’s simple but yet so hard to make this wish come true. I just can’t seem to be able to find what it takes. Probably too many thoughts, some wired, some crazy…but most of them ridiculously regular and unpretentious, that run through my mind and make my poorly energized grey matter overheat and my little skinny neurons cook. An so… I wake up and try to put all I have in a new day, a new beginning of an expected end where I find me still looking for those little things that makes our entire being smile. And I wake again, tired, and take on a new beginning….
I crawl forward…through time and space…doing all I can to find that back wind to put me back on my feet so I can once again walk my way through and tackle all that life throws at me with all my strength. I am aware that, if I try hard enough and I hold on long enough, that gush of wind will come…but I can not help asking when !
As contradicting as it may seem, I am an optimist, maybe to naive in my optimism at times, maybe to much of a dreamer at times, but I am an incurable optimist. I believe in me and I believe in human kind. I know we will all find what we are looking for…we just need to figure out what is it that we want to find just so we can happily wake up one morning and know that we have it.
As they are just thoughts…they don’t really need to make sense to you. If they are crazy…hope you enjoy the images (images, as usual, don’t match the writing )
As always…your comments are appreciated !!!
Here I struggle to find the key,
To the passage that locks the inside of me.
Neither paint, nor music, nor poetry,
No art or act to show what’s lies in me…
My hidden identity…
The invisible reality.
*Dayna Elizabeth Lunstrum*
Thank you all for your comments to my post entitled “Feelings”. It is very interesting to learn about what the abstract can bring to surface.
I named this post “Feelings” because I want to know what do you feel looking at this image. What is the first thing that comes to your mind !!!
Yet another B&W.
It is the beginning of March and we are still stuck in winter here. It is wired for this time of the year to not see any of the beautiful spring flowers. It seems that weather changed, winter starts later and finishes later. I was told it is the global warming phenomena. I did some reading about this global warming …and it just doesn’t seem to be that. It just looks like every year the seasons just shift a bit. They still last more or less three months each , they just don’t start anymore when they used to. I observed that every few years, seasons seem to be starting a bit later and finish later . My own observations make me a bit reticent to the entire global warming theory. And the fact that it kick started a billions dollars business like Emissions Trading (that didn’t proved to be particularly useful other than make millions for some organizations ) doesn’t help in making me a believer. That doesn’t mean that I am not against pollution.
Anyway , I diverted a bit to a subject I am not very familiar with…!!!
About the photos…I took a short trip today with my best friend and I had the chance to take some landscape photos. The weather was not as good as I wished for . I was hoping to see a bit of the long awaited spring out there in the country, but it seems that winter doesn’t want to leave just yet. Nevertheless the scenery was still breathtaking.
In this post are a few of the images. I hope you enjoy them…!!!
I took these shots about a week back. It started with just fooling around with my camera, playing with the settings and just trying to keep entertained in some way. I was thinking for a while now about a photo about money,and I even tried a few in the past, but I was calmed down a bit in my enthusiasm because of the stereotype of it all. You can see almost at every corner a money shot (literally). But my sarcastic imagination didn’t allowed me to remove from my memory the “philosophical” questions : “are money the root of all evil?” and “can money bring happiness?”.
So i started analyzing yet again this trough my brain and almost caused my glial cells to fail but at the end, after managing to cool off all that electrical activity with couple of glasses with icy cold tap water,I have succeeded in coming up with couple of conclusions. The first question I found it to be a bit moronic ; why? because people are the root of all evil, with absolutely no exceptions. It is that simple that whom ever came up with this and realized for the first time that nothing but us, the “supreme race”, are the root of all evil, didn’t actually needed to be some sort of genius, he just needed to use his mental capacity to a bare minimum required from a human being.
Second question is a bit more complex and can draw more answers. But in my humble opinion, money can certainly be an added bonus to happiness, but it can never bring it, at least not on their own. They can just help a bit to kick start this feeling we are all hoping to understand.
Now the image bellow is probably very far away from the though I tried to put on a short and very modest text above, having in common just the money, but yet this was my wired and meaningless photographic conclusion. Also helps to keep the Black & White continuity of my posts.
This child was mesmerized by the music played on an iPod that my friend had given to her while on a long train ride. I don’t believe she has seen one before or ever listed to any music on such a small and “wired” device. She was motionless for more than an hour, watching the little colored screen as the magic tunes played. I had to pull my camera out and capture that unique first in the little girl’s young life.
I was trying to think of a clever name for this post. I got stuck at the thinking part…just couldn’t find something “clever” enough. Anyway I hope you enjoy these photos regardless….
As usual , your comments , critique and opinions are always appreciated.
Snapshots of a Beautiful and white valentines Day in Vaslui.
I wish I could say that the poem that I have chosen to share it along with this images bellow was mine. Unfortunately it isn’t…!!! I couldn’t find the author – it was actually published on an online forum with unknown author. Hope you will enjoy it as much as I do.
What would I like to know?
Nothing less than the proportions of flesh between your thoughts.
When time equals our beliefs both time and belief will evaporate
and space will be measured in terms of your eyes in mine.
I have no idea where space finds you tonight.
I haven’t the time to believe in our wishes
but we are one as organs of God and obviously in love with
the ephemeral positions of our bodies within bliss.
No doubt we will meet again when bliss can no longer be mistaken for a
We must not take the world very seriously since we both seem to enjoy a
romance without kisses
and can laugh at the poets when they charm us.
You make me remember that life is hollow within us and without us
yet solid in the space inbetween.
I’ve made of you a picture of caring,
that was easy,
I would like to step closer to grief
and know that you’re watching.
As it stands, ours is a relationship between fantasy and Truth.
Regardless of our wishes,
it wills us to be so much more and much less.
But where are you tonight?
We have entrusted locks and keys to one another
and Christmas is looming…
our presents are panting,
the trees are bending with the weight of our ornaments.
I am yours.
You have everything.
All is peace.
In the early days of photography, photographers had no choice but to shoot in black and white, as it was the only available medium. Then, in 1936, the invention of kodachrome gave colour photography to the world. But black and white photography didn’t die off, instead it flourished. Modern black and white photography at it’s best is art, and many photographers regard it as the purest form of photography.
So why does black and white photography command such acclaim? One reason is that colour is a distraction. It takes attention away from the visual building blocks of a great photo; texture, tonal contrast, shape, form and lighting. A photographer shooting in black and white has to learn how to use all these elements to create a memorable image.
Another reason is that color photography, much of it mediocre, is so abundant that black and white makes a refreshing change.
From an artistic viewpoint; color depicts reality. Black and white is an interpretation of reality.
*** read more about B&W photography at http://photo.tutsplus.com ***
As I was decided to get out of the house and give smoke photography a brake, I ventured outside of my warm little house with a hope that I can bring back inside a bit of a “warmer” winter trough my images. So I joined my cousin and got moving. Once we got to the location….I was stunned by how unprepared I was and not with regard to my photo gear, but with my clothing gear….BRRRR….it was cold….freezing cold…(and words don’t do justice to how cold it was…). So with thick gloves on my hands which I couldn’t talk myself into removing, and with ice cold tears on my face from the wind that was so wildly blowing, I managed to squeeze couple of shots. I would of never dreamed to be two great amazing images, but hope that they render what and how I felt in that particular moment. Anyway you must look forward to much more smoke photos from me for the next couple of days…!!!!
A taste of winter from Vaslui , a little city in eastern Romania.
Compared with how the weather was like in all Europe and all around the country till now, in my home town it just started to seriously snow. So i thought to share this winter joy with the world.