I often think of what would I change in my life if I had one single chance to go back in time ? And that is a tricky one…because we are human beings and we all share “devilish” human traits like pride, greed, insecurity etc (or so some people would argue…). I is a bit of a moral philosophy question. Maybe I would want to become smarter, richer, maybe just fix mistakes I’ve done so I can live happily ever after with my childhood first love and so on. I can find hundreds of tempting tweaks that I could play with surfing on the insane idea that I would change my present for better. And then I stop and wonder if all that would change it for better? would it change it at all? That Is the big mystery for me and I hope many others. ( I hope it is a mystery for many others just not to be labeled as crazy for writing this thought on my blog for the world to see…!!!)
The thing is…I don’t think I would want to change something! I don’t think I would want things to have been different because I wouldn’t be anymore my present self, would I? All I have been trough in my relative short,at times miserable, but mostly mediocre life, made me the person I am today, and I am a bit afraid of whom I would be if my past would be tempered with. And even if, trough some obscene absurdity, I could go back in time and I would decide to change something, I really doubt something would change because the universe has a wired way in finding the symmetry and the order that is deeply embedded in the physics of its existence and all will result in the same present I live today.
So probably it is better to let my mental self follow my physical self forward trough the fabric of space and time; A unidirectional and inevitable way of life, not dwelling on the past, just learning my lessons and moving on with my insignificant existence, being aware that the only arguable certainty that I have is that “I AM NOW”.